Touring the sinkhole site, JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon said,
"Obviously, this has nothing to do with the need for more comprehensive financial regulations. It's just another example of the failure of the Obama stimulus package to address our infrastructure needs. Fewer regulations, lower taxes and more privatization are the solution."
Former MF Global CEO Jon Corzine, a Democrat whose name was previously floated for the job of Obama's Secretary of the Treasury, rebutted Dimon's charge.
"What this proves is that there are plenty of shovel-ready projects for another round of stimulus. Also, that nothing criminal happened to that billion and change in customer funds. It just fell in. What can I say? It happens." The investigative team assigned to the MF Global case, which so far has not been able to find any indictable offense, expressed relief that the mystery had been solved.
"We were pretty sure that money just walked off," said a member of the team. "Now we know it walked off and fell in the hole. If you'll excuse me, I've got to go visit the rest of the team in the hospital. They also fell into the hole when they mistook it for their own ass."
Touring the sinkhole site, JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon said, "Obviously, this has nothing to do with the need for more comprehensive financial regulations. It's just another example of the failure of the Obama stimulus package to address our infrastructure needs. Fewer regulations, lower taxes and more privatization are the solution."
Former MF Global CEO Jon Corzine, a Democrat whose name was previously floated for the job of Obama's Secretary of the Treasury, rebutted Dimon's charge. "What this proves is that there are plenty of shovel-ready projects for another round of stimulus. Also, that nothing criminal happened to that billion and change in customer funds. It just fell in. What can I say? It happens." 
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