Chinese government to open "Big Boy Pants" factory; asks former CIA agent Jose Rodriguez to be spokesmodel.

Officials observed how well "Big Boy Pants" accessorize with
shiny boots, hats and coats, particularly those bearing military insignia.



The Chinese government announced today the opening of its "Big Boy Pants" factory and the hiring of Bush-era CIA agent Jose Rodriguez to be spokesmodel.  Rodriguez has spent the week promoting his book wherein he proudly details his participation in waterboarding and other forms of "interrogation" and his disposing of, against orders, the 90-odd tapes that he calls "ugly visuals," which others might call evidence in criminal proceedings.  In his appearance on 60 Minutes Rodriguez insisted to Leslie Stahl that "we needed to get everybody in government to put their big boy pants on and provide the authorities that we needed" to engage in torture.  http://tinyurl.com/cx3bzn3 

While noting that Americans have grown fond of advocating the "Big Boy Pants" fashion, Chinese officials point out that the trend is popular worldwide.  "We ourselves love big boy pants, and truthfully, our first choices were Charles Taylor or Radko Mladic," an official said.  "But they were busy at the Hague. Besides, we think Rodriguez is a real up and comer.  Now that he's retired from the CIA, he can take his pick of jobs in any number of paramilitary groups.  He's a guy who really loves his work."

In related news, a fierce recruitment effort has been mounted to enlist Leslie Stahl on the Washington correspondents' softball team, according to a print reporter.  "When it comes to softballing, she proved Sunday night she can really bring it."