a) Am not in massive, luxuriously swathed four-poster, caught up in gorgeous period romance, a la Downton Abbey. Do not own opera gloves.
b) Am reading yet another crummy horror film made not on a shoestring but on the mangy half-digested strand that the dog vomited after he ate the shoestring has scored boffo box office. "The Devil Inside" made $34.5 million over the weekend.
Call it String Theory: Everybody lines up for bragging rights to be the first to see the next Blair Witch/ Paranormal Activity. Okay, I can see this is my moment. I'm firing up the cellphone camera. Cue the ominous music.
Deep announcer voice: Zooey Grant IS....The Girl with the Dragon Breath.
And if you don't think that's scary, wait until you see my morning hair. Yikes.
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