Santorum wins, weighs in.

Santorum sez for the sake of the nation,
 tom-catting with Kermit must stop.
Kitty sez the heart wants what it wants,
nation be damned.

Yesterday, Rick Santorum won 3 caucus states in his race for the Republican nomination.  In other news yesterday, a California higher court overturned Proposition 8, the referendum banning gay marriage.  Santorum, who has said gay marriage will lead to man/dog sex, has now turned his attention to another kind of intermingling that is "destroying the moral fabric of our nation--or at least the very fabric of our puppets."


And this just in:

Ron Paul has attacked Santorum for what he says is "blatant overreach of governmental power.  We need to stop telling kitty cats what to do.  Besides, it's stupid.  Everybody knows cats don't listen."

Newt Gingrich has suggested that rather than lacking patriotism, Kitty actually suffers from surfeit of love of country, a problem he himself has struggled with.   "There's no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, I worked too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate." *  Gingrich promises the couple, now dubbed Kermitty by tabloids, front seats on his "LoveBug to the Moon." 

Rick Perry, seeking to reclaim his masculinity after being trounced in the race by a shortie, a fattie and a fancy pants from Taxachusetts, promised to shoot the cat with his Lugar.  "I shot a coyote to save my dog, I'll shoot a dang cat to save Kermit."

But Michele Bachman insisted both cat and puppet be burned at the stake.  "Cats are the 'familiars' of witches.  That's a scientific fact.  A woman told me at one of my rallies."

Noted animal and faux-animal lover Betty White promised protection for the pair.


White to Bachman and Perry:
"Make my day, you chuckleheads!"



                                                                                        *Actual Gingrich quote about his own extramarital affairs.