The Algonquin Hotel is shuttering the legendary Oak Room; the space will be turned in a lounge for Merriott Rewards Elite customers.  http://tinyurl.com/7j57skm     Upon hearing the news, Michael Feinstein's piano collapsed in a heap, and though the instrument was immediately rushed to Carnegie Hall, it could not be saved.  All that remained was a piece of a leg, which, as volunteers sang softly from the American Songbook, reformed itself into a set of pan pipes and announced it would move to Romania to work for Zamphir.


In related news, Donald Trump announced research was complete in his quest to clone himself.  The Donald clones are expected to be available for purchase at all Barbarians R Us stores by summer. 

"You have earned Merriott Rewards Elite status?"
"Si!  All the cool people earn Rewards Elite status!"
"Isn't this lounge for Rewards Elite customers cool?"
"Si! Si!  It is very cool!"

Also, the Merriott Corporation has released its newest commercial touting the benefits of the Merriott Rewards Elite program.