Lou Dobbs rushed to Mt. Sinai with chest pains; condition revealed.

After the Fox Business News Network host was hospitalized on Wednesday, his diagnosis was finally revealed at this morning's press conference.

"It's really very simple.  Mr. Dobbs' heart is two sizes too small," said Dr. Leviticus Medicus, head of Mt. Sinai's cardiology department.

Dobbs:  Heartsick but
gunning for grannies.

The commentator collapsed just after completing a show attacking the upcoming film adaptation of the Dr. Seuss book, The Lorax, which as Maura Judkiss in a Washington Post Lifestyle blog points out, is "about the dangers of taking too much from the Earth without giving back." 

Judkiss notes: 

"Where have we all heard this before?" asked Dobbs.  "Occupy Wall Street, forever trying to pit the makers against the takers..."

According to Judkiss, Dobbs' guest, radio show host Matt Patrick, "said the movie's aim was to create 'Occu-toddlers,' and suggested people buy popcorn and candy and leave their trash on the floor."

In discussing Dobbs' prognosis, Dr. Medicus emphasized the low mortality rates associated with the condition.  "True, Mr. Dobbs may not enjoy the quality of life that you or I would want, but there are many, many documented cases of such patients living to advanced ages."

As for Dobbs himself, he vows not to slow down.  "I've got to get back to the studio.  We've got an upcoming segment on old ladies hogging crosswalks, taking their own sweet time getting across.  Matt (Patrick) will be back, and we're going to outline a new course of action.  Granny Clipping is an idea whose time has come."

The link to Judkiss post:  http://tinyurl.com/7zjq2qq