"Of course, it's also for the boys in blue," the Supreme Court justice added, of today's ruling that allows police to strip search virtually anyone they arrest. "What with cops' pension and health benefits being gutted thanks to our corporations-are-people ruling unleashing the money to cripple collective bargaining, the least we could give them is a peep show any time they feel the need. |
| "Ida Lupino was great in 'Women in Prison,' Scalia noted. "But the Hayes Code meant the women had to keep their clothes on, so naturally their storylines were limited. Plus, you know, there was that whole Bill of Rights thing." |
"But honestly what I'm really concerned with is our cultural heritage here. No, we don't have Ida Lupino or Barbara Stanwyck anymore. But we've got nakedness nowadays, and this ruling will open up the genre to a wealth of new motifs. Speeding Sally. Occupy Olivia. Klepto Katie. Accidentally Arrested Annie. Believe you me, film buffs (and cops who like to see people in the buff) are gonna thank us.
"Besides, a little discipline won't hurt Americans," Scalia concluded. "After all, it's not like we're making them buy brocoli."
"Yes," Chief Justice Roberts chimed in, his baby blues shining brightly. "More b&d is just what this country needs And you know, this really puts to rest the idea that the Supreme Court is stuck in the 19th century. This ruling is just as much for the lady and gay cops as for the real men police. I feel tingly with patriotism when I think about it."
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