Saturday, December 31, 2011

Ginger Snap: a wintertime gender-blender.

Call her L'Eggy Pop, the David Bowie look-alike who did more to demolish the panythose industry in "Michael Clayton" than Katie Couric ever did with her fake-baked and much flaunted stems.  (Seriously.  Did you see the movie?  Women of a certain age ran screaming from the theatre, clawing at their shiny legs.  Tragedy struck in a small town in Georgia when a woman, attempting to surreptitiously slink out of her stockings suffered the dread Pantyhose Roll mid-thigh; the subsequent loss of oxygen caused her to pass out and fall to the floor whereupon she was trampled by the above-mentioned hordes of sisters in shame.)  Tilda, according to the NY Times, is Oscar-bait once again for her turn as the mother of a Columbine-type killer in "Something About Kevin." 

And thus a toast tonight to the bi-tilting Tilda, her newly reddish locks and her utter fearlessness in all things fashion.   This recipe from the website Delish will also, conveniently, allow you to use the rest of your holiday eggnog:

Ginger Snap
3/4 oz. Captain Morgan Original Spiced Rum
1/2 oz. Ginger Brandy
4 oz. egg nog

Add ingredients to your blender and blend to desired consistency.  Pour into glass and garnish with a ginger snap cookie.  Be daring and dunk.  Tilda would.

Here's the link to the writeup by theatre critic Charles Isherwood:

Friday, December 30, 2011

Girls, we're giving it away for free and not only are they still buying the cow, they're ponying up to propose.

In Crazy Stupid Love, Ryan Gosling's character points out that men “won” the war of the sexes when women began to exercise on a pole.  Fair enough.   Still, the Boys Team suffered a few casualties.  Like the performance anxiety that comes nowadays with popping the question.  Nothing but a diamond and a bended knee?  Forget it, pal.  
So what’s a fella to do to be Lord of the Ring? According to the New York Times, "For a fee, proposal planners promise to help plot a scenario for the key moment and assist in its execution, with just the right helicopter, hot-air balloon or gondola, and along with it the proper locale and musical accompaniment."  Sarah Pease, one of the consultants interviewed "typically charges $500 for devising a plan; having her handle the whole operation can run $12,000, plus any fees to those providing the transportation and site."    Ladies, read it and reap:  
 http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/25/fashion/weddings/proposal-planners-if-youre-ready-to-pop-the-question.html


Jonesing for Jones.

Look out Bridget!  It's a cleaver without a Daniel attached!

Holiday time, time to meet dishy guys in reindeer "jumpers" all awkward/funny/cute over turkey curry boofay.  Oh, wait.  That's Bridget Jones.  Bridge 3 is still in production with a new director, Peter Cattaneo, he of cheeky Full Monty fame.  For now there's horror-Renee in Case 39. 

Quick recap:  Social worker Renee takes in a little girl after said girl's parents attempt to roast her in the oven; Renee soon finds own goose cooked.  Like most demon-child flicks, Case 39 has a few sharp points about parenting and religion and crazy all tossed in, but there's not much  new or scary here.

Still, Renee is fine, Bradley Cooper is less frat-boy slick than usual and Ian McShane is quite McShaney, so there are worse ways to blow an hour and a half.  But I've read that Bridge 3 is all about Bridget and Mark not be able to have a baby and Bridget getting pregnant with Daniel Cleaver?!?  What would be better is Bridget, through some Bridget-like mixup, adopts the (real) Devil's child.  Wackiness ensues.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

You talkin' to me?

Yes, actually I am.

 68.  Maybe a few too many miles on the old chassis to be a new baby daddy?  Yes, you are an acting god, but that doesn't mean you are really ageless like Zeus or Vishnu or something.

 Just sayin'.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

He hung out with guys named Dasher and Dancer and Prancer.  Said he was a high flyer. 

How could she have known once they were married, he'd only want to go out one night a year?  That they'd live at the end of the earth where she'd have nothing to do but bake and eat cookies? 

A moment of silence for the unfortunate, formerly hot, Mrs. Claus. 
This year she's asking for Spanx.